The Gods on Earth

How do we thank the countless people who have made an impact on our lives? It is Kishore Kumar's birthday today and as I listen to his songs, I go off into another world. If he appeared in front of me right now, what would I do? Maybe just cry copious tears of gratefulness for making my life so much richer by his voice. I know I would not be able to speak a single word.
Just trying to think of all the writers, musicians, artists, actors, movie makers, playwrights who have made my life that much more better, complex and simple. Where would my childhood be without the magic of Enid Blyton and where would I be without my childhood? O'Henry is someone I haven't read in a long, long time but it is he who has been my first guru in writing. Agatha Christie continued my Enid Blyton phase. The poems of Rabindranath Tagore recited to me by my mother when I was a child touched a chord in my heart so strongly that it is still vibrating. Beatles, John Denver, Smokie, Carpenters all bring with them memories of childhood summers spent with my cousins in Shillong.
Wham is a taste of my teenage years. Posters of Wham and Archie comics is who I would describe my room those days. Movies like 'Sound of Music' and 'My Fair Lady' were passed on my aunts and mom to our generation and I am passing them on now to my sons. Masoom is another movie that has stayed with me over the years. Stephen Spielberg brought E.T. and Goonies (story) into my life then so many more... Saving Private Ryan came at a very vulnerable point of life, Schindler's List at another. Tintin  There are so many Speilberg movies that is woven into our lives that its not funny. (Btw, here's a link in which you can rank his films: http://www.hitfix.com/awards-campaign/steven-spielbergs-25-greatest-movies-to-date-1974-to-2012)
Books like Sun Signs were part of my life for a short time but very intimately... extremely thankful to Linda Goodman for those moments. Also Eric Segal! how could I forget him? Jeffrey Archer and John Grisham are still with me, walking by my side. 
I am, as you can see, not a Shakespeare girl but whenever i have read him, he manages to say what I feel and touches me deep inside. Van Gogh, daVinci, Rembrandt, Monet, Matisse fill me with a spiritual bliss.
So many and so many people. Writing, painting, singing with a passion that at one point or other has touched my life. So many that I dare not start writing a list beyond the names I have mentioned. Can I leave out Freddie Mercury? Or do I not mention Jane Austen? Also thinking of the many people who perhaps contribute to drawing comics children love. Does a writer write for money? Can someone write for money and write so beautifully?

Of peacocks and crocodile tears

I don't think nowadays. That I don't really get the time to think is another matter but despite this, I used to carve out a few minutes which turned into hours of reflections.  Love is not a 'bhaste' of time, thought is. And a much greater 'bhaste' than thought is reacting to this thought or speaking out about it or the 'bhastiest' of them all: writing about it. (Ek toh more than half junta doesn't understand what's written in these articles and focus on just a couple of words. Arre yaar, kuch kehna hi he toh pictures se bolo na ya video daal do. And that too kindly do it in Hindi, in points with not more than 5 words.)

Don't think, don't react. Instead do what smart guys like Adani are doing...make hay while the sun shines. Let the country go to hell debating stupid issues like peacock tears and PC's non-PC posture while you quietly keep increasing your bank worth. Don't make any noise, work silently, keep people who make laws happy. Tomorrow oil and coal might be overtaken by solar and other alternative energies but for now, the government is happy collecting taxes despite decreasing world prices, also giving more clearance leeway and you are happy to squeeze out as much as you can, while you can.

The whole nation was busy creating jokes and abusing Vijay Mallya last year. Bloody hell, we went through demonetization for people like him. Did the jokes, articles, social media posts affect him? "I will come and see each match of India", he tweets...he loves his country. Talking of demonetization, again while we divided ourselves into two camps shouting ourselves hoarse on who's right and who's wrong, making funny and sad jokes, and busy downloading and using Paytm, Ambani kept quiet and in May, six months after it all began, Reliance Capital sold its almost 1 per cent stake in the company (bought in 2010 for 10 crore) for Rs 275 crore to China's Alibaba Group. 


Don't be fools, don't be swayed by the waves of patriotism and get entangled in debates with other fools. War is good. Discontent is good. Be selfish...you have just one life. Your heart will last longer, your finances will be larger, basically life won't be a 'bhaste of time'. Oh, and yes, if people raise questions...you know those fools who have no other work, don't worry. There is another lot of fools ready to fight for you and say, 'Where were you when the Congress looted the nation for 60 years?' or better still: 'leftie sala' or launch massive viral whatsapp jokes...If all else fails, there is always our friendly media who will start another issue with a non-issue to entertain and divert the nation.

Love's in the Air

Whether you have a Valentine or not, whether you give a rose to anyone or not, February is truly a month when Love’s in the air! There is romance, there is expression of love.

When we have dated each other about a million and three times, got married, had three kids together, why do we need a Valentine’s Day to celebrate love? I mean, isn’t it Valentine’s Day everyday? The heck, No! It is definitely not Velentine’s Day everyday. In the midst of homework and formal dinners, school nightouts and exams, parties with friends and cinema outings, the You and Me tends to get lost more often than not. We do take rides alone, under the moonlight with Kishore Kumar and Elvis, we do hold hands, and then we talk of… our kids, travel plans, fine-tuning our budget!

We say ‘Love you’ but forget to say ‘I love you’.  And today is exactly that… A day to say ‘I love you’. No matter that I may scream at you for leaving the shower on in the bathroom tomorrow but right now, at this moment, I take time out to say, ‘I love you’.  This is the one day to go Bollywood mushy, to do the overdose of cliched quotes, for heart shaped balloons and chocolate boxes, for all those things that you do not do normally.A heart shaped balloon might seem very embarrassing to both give and receive but do it once...you will at least laugh out loud with your other half even if nothing else!

Whether it’s your first love and you secretly leave a card with a thumping heart – Does she feel the same? I am sure he’s the one I will spend my whole life with and please, please, please God, let him love me back! Whether you are a mother looking at your growing child with wonder – When did you grow up? Or whether you are a child gazing at your mom with fresh eyes as she rushes around fixing your lunchbox – I love you, Mom! Whether you are a gardener who loves his plants or a 9-6 er who hates to leaves her dog behind at home while she goes to work. Whether you are a cook who loves to make and share food. Whether you are an ayah who makes sure baby’s happy or whether you are baby who loves the way your ayah holds you safe. No matter who you are, days fly by and we show our love in our own beautiful ways. But I still feel Valentine’s day is important because in this hustle and bustle of life and love, showing and telling someone that you love someone consciously and with an effort is always worth it.

So, let’s bake a cake for our mali, surprise our dog with an unexpected long walk or ride, make special cards for our kids full of mushy hearts and kisses. As for that boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife of yours, shock them by holding their hands, look at them straight in the eye and say ‘I love you’. It’s not easy but it will be worth it. Cupid’s smiling 

And for romance all the other times, there's always SRK.

!

The Bhela Ghors of Assam

Every year in January, the Assamese celebrate the winter harvest with Magh Bihu. The cold is given a stiff battle by the burning mejis and the Bhela Ghors. But wait, I am moving ahead.
Magh Bihu or Bhogali Bihu is a festival of feasting. A traditional festival on the occasion of Makar Sankranti, Magh Bihu is full of games and traditional activities. The festival starts on the last day of the previous day called 'uruka' or the eve. This is where the Bhela Ghors come in.

 

These are temporary houses made of thatch, dry grass, hay, bamboo. People of the neighbourhood gather in it to eat a stupendous feast prepared outdoors. Bhela Ghors are seen adorning the harvested golden fields all across rural Assam.

Traditionally, there is also a ritual of stealing vegetables from others' kitchen gardens to cook in the feast. Even in cities and towns, where there are no bhela ghor ritual, the feasting is inevitable as well as the stealing though this might extend from vegetables to whatever is lying on the front yard of neighbours.No matter where the Assamese might be in the world, uruka feasting (uruka bhuj) on the eve of Magh Bihu is a must. Kath alu fry, labra baji (mixed vegetables), all kinds of meat, fish, kichiri etc etc are prepared communally or in the form of pot luck.

 

After the feasting, early next morning,  people take their baths and light these Bhela Ghors along with the Meji (bonfires). Mejis will be burned early morning on January 16th this year, both in rural as well as in urban Assam plus everywhere in the world where Assamese groups are located. Offerings of a mixture of raw rice and mati dail (black gram), pitha and ladoos, betel nut, paan, and til (sesame seeds) are offered to the fire.

 

The burning of the Mejis traditionally burn out the winter cold. It's wonderful to sit around bonfires in the evening and also in the early morning and roast potatoes, sweet potatoes.Either wrap your potatoes in foil and bury them in the embers or just like that and then hunt for the roasted tubers in a while with a stick, eating it hot and yummy!

 

The day begins after the burning of the Mejis with an elaborate breakfast of chira (flattened rice), doi (curd), gur (jaggery), various pithas, lusi bhaji, ladoos of coconut and til, komal chaul, etc. 

Following the heavy morning 'jolpan', the day ahead has a number of pastimes such as buffalo fights especially in Sibsagar and tekeli bhonga (breaking of earthern pots).  Koni juj (egg fights) are fought with gusto in almost every home and kukura juj (cock fights) are also seen in various places.

Parents and children

I had a kind of a depressing morning today...our dhoban's (washerwoman) son (who wears shiny tracksuits and shoes and has a phone better than I have) scares his parents with threats like he will burn his parents down, etc. if they dont listen to him or ask him where he goes and they too are scared of him. I asked her who does the garden quarter belong to? Her son or her husband? So, why don't they have the courage to tell him better listen to us or don't step into this house. She has three younger children. Why are parents scared of children and give in to whims?

 On the other hand, there are parents like my Mali (gardener)...He had lost his wife almost 10 years ago and are bringing up 3 daughters on his own. All three going to school, polite, well dressed and good mannered. While this makes me want to salute him, feel so sad at the sight of the much larger number of garden worker children with fancy mobile phones, shiny clothes, listening to music on loud speakers while their parents earn.

When we were young, there were things I wanted but didn't ask my mom because I knew it was something she would say 'no' to. And I would have probably got a scolding too. The price was not the issue but the importance was and who decided how important that thing was for me? My mom, of course. Heavens save me if I had the audacity to say that I didn't liked what was served for dinner. It was only when I reached college that I actually wearing stuff I liked (and for a long time, what 'I' liked was actually what was ingrained in me for so long.) Today I have children of my own. I had promised myself I would not be such a strict parent as my Mom was but even my 'much less strict' behaviour can make you wilt if you are doing something I feel is wrong.

I believe in freedom but not in freedom that makes you disrespectful. Also, till you are at least 16 years old, I have rules. You are free to not eat non-vegetarian food but you have to eat and finish the

vegetables. You can play games on the computer provided it's less than 45 minutes at a stretch. You can argue with me on various topics but can never, heavens forbid, say anything disrespectful. For toys and gadgets, we have a budget but for books, our pockets are always open. I have been taught stuff by my parents, who have been taught by theirs etc and it is my duty to pass these things on to you. Call me old fashioned, I really don't care. So, we have poetry reading sessions, we have chess matches, we listen to songs, we see and discuss movies because if we don't discuss what we like and don't like with each other now, with whom will we do that?
Believe me, I probably hated my mom when I was in school but the tennis lessons that she pushed me to, the dance lessons she insisted I had to attend, the Sanchayita recitations we used to have, the semi-formal kind of clothes I always had to wear, the embroidery, knitting, stitching that I had to learn, the huge supply of books we always had everywhere at home, at cousin's houses, the wonderful variety in music we heard everywhere, are things I am eternally grateful for. We had conversations those days. Heated debates on some scientific theory or a paragraph in a book. (These debates I still have with my mom even now.) Our grandparents, uncles, aunts, elder cousins all formed the outer cocoon of our world, each one of them imparting whatever good things they could. We, in our own way, are trying to do the same but as things have changed tremendously, there of course are many changes to the way we are doing things. Sometimes (many times), we make mistakes but admitting  that to my children was one of the biggest lessons we have learned.

You are my most precious child and I love you like I can't love anyone else. I am proud of you and at the same time want you not to get swollen by this pride. I want you to look at the person behind every service you receive or give. This is something I have told you again and again and again: Never, ever look at how rich or poor someone is. Look at what 'they' are. Don't ever get tempted by goodies. Respect the poet, the author, the scientist, the sportsman, the businessman...respect everyone who gives theri best to their work, even he is a gardener.
And yes, I rule over you, I am your boss, you have to listen to what I say because by luck and by God's grace, I happen to be your parent and you are my child.

Ghosts of Christmases Past

It's Christmas and I reflect on Christmases past. I grew up in an environment where I had three major festivals: Holi, Diwali and Christmas. From the time I was about 8-9, Jhulan Jhatra and Magh Bihu was also added. Jhulan Jatra was a really fun festival where we had a whole display area with small idols, animals, etc and best thing was we got money. Holi was fun, dirty and rough. Strangers were no exception and everyone who came into our lane got a heavy dunking. Diwali was noisy and full of preparation. I remember the sunning of the crackers started a week before the actual bursting. Magh Bihu saw us creeping silently through Mon Bahadur's cauliflower and veggie patches behind the Textile Institute in Ambari to collect as many as we could before he saw us and chased us. Our moms were all waiting ready to put these stolen veggies in the communal kichdi they were preparing.

But Christmas! Sigh! Christmas is not and never was a festival... it was and is Magic. Christmas started in November for us those days in Silpukhuri where the whole gang would be busy after school rehearsing for the pantomime we would put up in front of our parents.These were secret rehearsals well hidden from the eyes and ears of our parents mostly in Buli and Bula's house (the top floors were still under construction and we had lot of empty territory) and the script would be prepared by Buli ba, Nita ba and the senior kids... Costumes were made with the help of moms and Dads who pretended not to know. The stage was set in a drawing home in one of the homes, audience was seated and the play began. The one I remember most clearly was 'Jack and the Beanstalk'.

It would be an exciting time at school too with lovely long holidays in sight. Our school fete with the wonderful 'lucky dips' and food and games stalls heralded the beginning of winter. Someone would be Santa (always wanted to know whether it was a Sister from our convent or maybe a Father from Don Bosco dressed up as one.. never got to really find out!) and we would all get packets of sweets, whistles and sometimes biscuits too. Carols were on full swing, both in school as well as at home. Silent night sung by me could move you to tears!

Santa at home would usually be a visiting cousin, mostly my cousin from Shillong. As my brother and I always had a Kong ( a Khasi Nanny) looking after us, we would accompany her to church on Christmas day...not midnight mass. Our most subtle good children clothes and best behaviour. I prayed with great fervour those days. I could see parents doing some secret stuff and later realised it had to do with our presents. Once, I had at the last minute asked for some state-of-the-art kind of doll at the last minute and I remember someone telling me that North Pole is now closed and I (bless me) truly believed.

Christmas, now that I am much much older, continues its magic and feeling of immense joy. Our house is still always full of songs on Christmas day... Balaram, my younger son especially is extremely vocal with Jingle Bells. Now I am the one with my husband secreting presents here and there, filling stockings on tip toes. A couple of years back, I fell asleep before my boys and the stockings remained unfilled and this time it was I who told them a story of how there would be two days of stocking filling because Santa got a bit late on the way.

Christmas for me had nothing to do with Religion (neither did Diwali or Holi). Yes, of course we had nativity scenes and we knew we were celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ. Christmas for us was that wonderful time of winter holidays, presents, songs, joy and happiness all around. Christmas for me still is that wonderful thing that gives me a glow inside. You want to give, give, give. You want to hug the whole world. Christmas is simply a feeling that's warm, happy, comforting and fuzzy. Something like a mug of hot chocolate.

A Merry Christmas to each and everyone of you. May joy, happiness, peace and hope always be with you!

Net Neutrality versus Digital 'Equality'

Okay, now I tell you  that because the poor does not get food, I will from now on give food to them.

Please click on the button to allow me to give food to the poor. You will of course feel it's a good thing and click on the button. Someone is doing something good and you are doing good by supporting it! Digital Equality! However, the food I am giving comprises only coffee (I have a deal with Nescafe), tomatoes (I have a deal with a tomato farmer), KRT rice (I have a deal), no dal (no deals were made), amul milk (again, deals). so, what's wrong? Nothing except the fact that you will be able to have just these foods, and nothing else. These you can have as much as you want. Will you get proper nutrition..no. But at least you get to eat, no?


Now take this in the case of the Internet... it becomes more sinister. I will give you free Internet (you will of course need a device) but there are only certain sites that you will be allowed to access. So, how does this become wrong? At least you are getting the Internet, right? I will be allowing you access to Times of India for news (because I have a deal with them. Not Hindustan Times, Not Indian Express... because their views might be different from mine). For shopping you may go to flipkart and not to any other because again I have a deal with them. Facebook of course is something you may be on the whole day and I will make it full of attractive ads from my partners so that you get motivated and encouraged to be our customers. There will be attractive discounts of course. There won't be any blogs, articles etc that tell you a different picture of the government. If an article has been written by someone or a picture has been taken that shows the government in a wrong way..the whole world will see it but  you poor thing will have to make do without it because it wont be on the sites you are 'allowed' to see.


So, not only will be you reading what I want you to read, you will be buying what I want you to buy, discussing what I want you to discuss. The Ambanis and Zuckerbergs will sit pretty because, my dear, we are meant to sit pretty and you are just a poor thing... you must be so thankful to us for the freedom we are giving you. I like the word Freedom so much that I have renamed my Internet.org as 'Free Basics'..the Basics, of course, are the ones I want for you. I know what's best. And as for digital Equality, I will not mention it but there are alternatives like Mozilla's Grameen Phone in Bangladesh that actually allows you to surf the entire Internet on 20 MB free data per day.

And, of course, I will be donating 90% of my stock as charity for my daughter.