The Gods on Earth

How do we thank the countless people who have made an impact on our lives? It is Kishore Kumar's birthday today and as I listen to his songs, I go off into another world. If he appeared in front of me right now, what would I do? Maybe just cry copious tears of gratefulness for making my life so much richer by his voice. I know I would not be able to speak a single word.
Just trying to think of all the writers, musicians, artists, actors, movie makers, playwrights who have made my life that much more better, complex and simple. Where would my childhood be without the magic of Enid Blyton and where would I be without my childhood? O'Henry is someone I haven't read in a long, long time but it is he who has been my first guru in writing. Agatha Christie continued my Enid Blyton phase. The poems of Rabindranath Tagore recited to me by my mother when I was a child touched a chord in my heart so strongly that it is still vibrating. Beatles, John Denver, Smokie, Carpenters all bring with them memories of childhood summers spent with my cousins in Shillong.
Wham is a taste of my teenage years. Posters of Wham and Archie comics is who I would describe my room those days. Movies like 'Sound of Music' and 'My Fair Lady' were passed on my aunts and mom to our generation and I am passing them on now to my sons. Masoom is another movie that has stayed with me over the years. Stephen Spielberg brought E.T. and Goonies (story) into my life then so many more... Saving Private Ryan came at a very vulnerable point of life, Schindler's List at another. Tintin  There are so many Speilberg movies that is woven into our lives that its not funny. (Btw, here's a link in which you can rank his films: http://www.hitfix.com/awards-campaign/steven-spielbergs-25-greatest-movies-to-date-1974-to-2012)
Books like Sun Signs were part of my life for a short time but very intimately... extremely thankful to Linda Goodman for those moments. Also Eric Segal! how could I forget him? Jeffrey Archer and John Grisham are still with me, walking by my side. 
I am, as you can see, not a Shakespeare girl but whenever i have read him, he manages to say what I feel and touches me deep inside. Van Gogh, daVinci, Rembrandt, Monet, Matisse fill me with a spiritual bliss.
So many and so many people. Writing, painting, singing with a passion that at one point or other has touched my life. So many that I dare not start writing a list beyond the names I have mentioned. Can I leave out Freddie Mercury? Or do I not mention Jane Austen? Also thinking of the many people who perhaps contribute to drawing comics children love. Does a writer write for money? Can someone write for money and write so beautifully?

Of peacocks and crocodile tears

I don't think nowadays. That I don't really get the time to think is another matter but despite this, I used to carve out a few minutes which turned into hours of reflections.  Love is not a 'bhaste' of time, thought is. And a much greater 'bhaste' than thought is reacting to this thought or speaking out about it or the 'bhastiest' of them all: writing about it. (Ek toh more than half junta doesn't understand what's written in these articles and focus on just a couple of words. Arre yaar, kuch kehna hi he toh pictures se bolo na ya video daal do. And that too kindly do it in Hindi, in points with not more than 5 words.)

Don't think, don't react. Instead do what smart guys like Adani are doing...make hay while the sun shines. Let the country go to hell debating stupid issues like peacock tears and PC's non-PC posture while you quietly keep increasing your bank worth. Don't make any noise, work silently, keep people who make laws happy. Tomorrow oil and coal might be overtaken by solar and other alternative energies but for now, the government is happy collecting taxes despite decreasing world prices, also giving more clearance leeway and you are happy to squeeze out as much as you can, while you can.

The whole nation was busy creating jokes and abusing Vijay Mallya last year. Bloody hell, we went through demonetization for people like him. Did the jokes, articles, social media posts affect him? "I will come and see each match of India", he tweets...he loves his country. Talking of demonetization, again while we divided ourselves into two camps shouting ourselves hoarse on who's right and who's wrong, making funny and sad jokes, and busy downloading and using Paytm, Ambani kept quiet and in May, six months after it all began, Reliance Capital sold its almost 1 per cent stake in the company (bought in 2010 for 10 crore) for Rs 275 crore to China's Alibaba Group. 


Don't be fools, don't be swayed by the waves of patriotism and get entangled in debates with other fools. War is good. Discontent is good. Be selfish...you have just one life. Your heart will last longer, your finances will be larger, basically life won't be a 'bhaste of time'. Oh, and yes, if people raise questions...you know those fools who have no other work, don't worry. There is another lot of fools ready to fight for you and say, 'Where were you when the Congress looted the nation for 60 years?' or better still: 'leftie sala' or launch massive viral whatsapp jokes...If all else fails, there is always our friendly media who will start another issue with a non-issue to entertain and divert the nation.

Love's in the Air

Whether you have a Valentine or not, whether you give a rose to anyone or not, February is truly a month when Love’s in the air! There is romance, there is expression of love.

When we have dated each other about a million and three times, got married, had three kids together, why do we need a Valentine’s Day to celebrate love? I mean, isn’t it Valentine’s Day everyday? The heck, No! It is definitely not Velentine’s Day everyday. In the midst of homework and formal dinners, school nightouts and exams, parties with friends and cinema outings, the You and Me tends to get lost more often than not. We do take rides alone, under the moonlight with Kishore Kumar and Elvis, we do hold hands, and then we talk of… our kids, travel plans, fine-tuning our budget!

We say ‘Love you’ but forget to say ‘I love you’.  And today is exactly that… A day to say ‘I love you’. No matter that I may scream at you for leaving the shower on in the bathroom tomorrow but right now, at this moment, I take time out to say, ‘I love you’.  This is the one day to go Bollywood mushy, to do the overdose of cliched quotes, for heart shaped balloons and chocolate boxes, for all those things that you do not do normally.A heart shaped balloon might seem very embarrassing to both give and receive but do it once...you will at least laugh out loud with your other half even if nothing else!

Whether it’s your first love and you secretly leave a card with a thumping heart – Does she feel the same? I am sure he’s the one I will spend my whole life with and please, please, please God, let him love me back! Whether you are a mother looking at your growing child with wonder – When did you grow up? Or whether you are a child gazing at your mom with fresh eyes as she rushes around fixing your lunchbox – I love you, Mom! Whether you are a gardener who loves his plants or a 9-6 er who hates to leaves her dog behind at home while she goes to work. Whether you are a cook who loves to make and share food. Whether you are an ayah who makes sure baby’s happy or whether you are baby who loves the way your ayah holds you safe. No matter who you are, days fly by and we show our love in our own beautiful ways. But I still feel Valentine’s day is important because in this hustle and bustle of life and love, showing and telling someone that you love someone consciously and with an effort is always worth it.

So, let’s bake a cake for our mali, surprise our dog with an unexpected long walk or ride, make special cards for our kids full of mushy hearts and kisses. As for that boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife of yours, shock them by holding their hands, look at them straight in the eye and say ‘I love you’. It’s not easy but it will be worth it. Cupid’s smiling 

And for romance all the other times, there's always SRK.

!

The Bhela Ghors of Assam

Every year in January, the Assamese celebrate the winter harvest with Magh Bihu. The cold is given a stiff battle by the burning mejis and the Bhela Ghors. But wait, I am moving ahead.
Magh Bihu or Bhogali Bihu is a festival of feasting. A traditional festival on the occasion of Makar Sankranti, Magh Bihu is full of games and traditional activities. The festival starts on the last day of the previous day called 'uruka' or the eve. This is where the Bhela Ghors come in.

 

These are temporary houses made of thatch, dry grass, hay, bamboo. People of the neighbourhood gather in it to eat a stupendous feast prepared outdoors. Bhela Ghors are seen adorning the harvested golden fields all across rural Assam.

Traditionally, there is also a ritual of stealing vegetables from others' kitchen gardens to cook in the feast. Even in cities and towns, where there are no bhela ghor ritual, the feasting is inevitable as well as the stealing though this might extend from vegetables to whatever is lying on the front yard of neighbours.No matter where the Assamese might be in the world, uruka feasting (uruka bhuj) on the eve of Magh Bihu is a must. Kath alu fry, labra baji (mixed vegetables), all kinds of meat, fish, kichiri etc etc are prepared communally or in the form of pot luck.

 

After the feasting, early next morning,  people take their baths and light these Bhela Ghors along with the Meji (bonfires). Mejis will be burned early morning on January 16th this year, both in rural as well as in urban Assam plus everywhere in the world where Assamese groups are located. Offerings of a mixture of raw rice and mati dail (black gram), pitha and ladoos, betel nut, paan, and til (sesame seeds) are offered to the fire.

 

The burning of the Mejis traditionally burn out the winter cold. It's wonderful to sit around bonfires in the evening and also in the early morning and roast potatoes, sweet potatoes.Either wrap your potatoes in foil and bury them in the embers or just like that and then hunt for the roasted tubers in a while with a stick, eating it hot and yummy!

 

The day begins after the burning of the Mejis with an elaborate breakfast of chira (flattened rice), doi (curd), gur (jaggery), various pithas, lusi bhaji, ladoos of coconut and til, komal chaul, etc. 

Following the heavy morning 'jolpan', the day ahead has a number of pastimes such as buffalo fights especially in Sibsagar and tekeli bhonga (breaking of earthern pots).  Koni juj (egg fights) are fought with gusto in almost every home and kukura juj (cock fights) are also seen in various places.

Parents and children

I had a kind of a depressing morning today...our dhoban's (washerwoman) son (who wears shiny tracksuits and shoes and has a phone better than I have) scares his parents with threats like he will burn his parents down, etc. if they dont listen to him or ask him where he goes and they too are scared of him. I asked her who does the garden quarter belong to? Her son or her husband? So, why don't they have the courage to tell him better listen to us or don't step into this house. She has three younger children. Why are parents scared of children and give in to whims?

 On the other hand, there are parents like my Mali (gardener)...He had lost his wife almost 10 years ago and are bringing up 3 daughters on his own. All three going to school, polite, well dressed and good mannered. While this makes me want to salute him, feel so sad at the sight of the much larger number of garden worker children with fancy mobile phones, shiny clothes, listening to music on loud speakers while their parents earn.

When we were young, there were things I wanted but didn't ask my mom because I knew it was something she would say 'no' to. And I would have probably got a scolding too. The price was not the issue but the importance was and who decided how important that thing was for me? My mom, of course. Heavens save me if I had the audacity to say that I didn't liked what was served for dinner. It was only when I reached college that I actually wearing stuff I liked (and for a long time, what 'I' liked was actually what was ingrained in me for so long.) Today I have children of my own. I had promised myself I would not be such a strict parent as my Mom was but even my 'much less strict' behaviour can make you wilt if you are doing something I feel is wrong.

I believe in freedom but not in freedom that makes you disrespectful. Also, till you are at least 16 years old, I have rules. You are free to not eat non-vegetarian food but you have to eat and finish the

vegetables. You can play games on the computer provided it's less than 45 minutes at a stretch. You can argue with me on various topics but can never, heavens forbid, say anything disrespectful. For toys and gadgets, we have a budget but for books, our pockets are always open. I have been taught stuff by my parents, who have been taught by theirs etc and it is my duty to pass these things on to you. Call me old fashioned, I really don't care. So, we have poetry reading sessions, we have chess matches, we listen to songs, we see and discuss movies because if we don't discuss what we like and don't like with each other now, with whom will we do that?
Believe me, I probably hated my mom when I was in school but the tennis lessons that she pushed me to, the dance lessons she insisted I had to attend, the Sanchayita recitations we used to have, the semi-formal kind of clothes I always had to wear, the embroidery, knitting, stitching that I had to learn, the huge supply of books we always had everywhere at home, at cousin's houses, the wonderful variety in music we heard everywhere, are things I am eternally grateful for. We had conversations those days. Heated debates on some scientific theory or a paragraph in a book. (These debates I still have with my mom even now.) Our grandparents, uncles, aunts, elder cousins all formed the outer cocoon of our world, each one of them imparting whatever good things they could. We, in our own way, are trying to do the same but as things have changed tremendously, there of course are many changes to the way we are doing things. Sometimes (many times), we make mistakes but admitting  that to my children was one of the biggest lessons we have learned.

You are my most precious child and I love you like I can't love anyone else. I am proud of you and at the same time want you not to get swollen by this pride. I want you to look at the person behind every service you receive or give. This is something I have told you again and again and again: Never, ever look at how rich or poor someone is. Look at what 'they' are. Don't ever get tempted by goodies. Respect the poet, the author, the scientist, the sportsman, the businessman...respect everyone who gives theri best to their work, even he is a gardener.
And yes, I rule over you, I am your boss, you have to listen to what I say because by luck and by God's grace, I happen to be your parent and you are my child.

Ghosts of Christmases Past

It's Christmas and I reflect on Christmases past. I grew up in an environment where I had three major festivals: Holi, Diwali and Christmas. From the time I was about 8-9, Jhulan Jhatra and Magh Bihu was also added. Jhulan Jatra was a really fun festival where we had a whole display area with small idols, animals, etc and best thing was we got money. Holi was fun, dirty and rough. Strangers were no exception and everyone who came into our lane got a heavy dunking. Diwali was noisy and full of preparation. I remember the sunning of the crackers started a week before the actual bursting. Magh Bihu saw us creeping silently through Mon Bahadur's cauliflower and veggie patches behind the Textile Institute in Ambari to collect as many as we could before he saw us and chased us. Our moms were all waiting ready to put these stolen veggies in the communal kichdi they were preparing.

But Christmas! Sigh! Christmas is not and never was a festival... it was and is Magic. Christmas started in November for us those days in Silpukhuri where the whole gang would be busy after school rehearsing for the pantomime we would put up in front of our parents.These were secret rehearsals well hidden from the eyes and ears of our parents mostly in Buli and Bula's house (the top floors were still under construction and we had lot of empty territory) and the script would be prepared by Buli ba, Nita ba and the senior kids... Costumes were made with the help of moms and Dads who pretended not to know. The stage was set in a drawing home in one of the homes, audience was seated and the play began. The one I remember most clearly was 'Jack and the Beanstalk'.

It would be an exciting time at school too with lovely long holidays in sight. Our school fete with the wonderful 'lucky dips' and food and games stalls heralded the beginning of winter. Someone would be Santa (always wanted to know whether it was a Sister from our convent or maybe a Father from Don Bosco dressed up as one.. never got to really find out!) and we would all get packets of sweets, whistles and sometimes biscuits too. Carols were on full swing, both in school as well as at home. Silent night sung by me could move you to tears!

Santa at home would usually be a visiting cousin, mostly my cousin from Shillong. As my brother and I always had a Kong ( a Khasi Nanny) looking after us, we would accompany her to church on Christmas day...not midnight mass. Our most subtle good children clothes and best behaviour. I prayed with great fervour those days. I could see parents doing some secret stuff and later realised it had to do with our presents. Once, I had at the last minute asked for some state-of-the-art kind of doll at the last minute and I remember someone telling me that North Pole is now closed and I (bless me) truly believed.

Christmas, now that I am much much older, continues its magic and feeling of immense joy. Our house is still always full of songs on Christmas day... Balaram, my younger son especially is extremely vocal with Jingle Bells. Now I am the one with my husband secreting presents here and there, filling stockings on tip toes. A couple of years back, I fell asleep before my boys and the stockings remained unfilled and this time it was I who told them a story of how there would be two days of stocking filling because Santa got a bit late on the way.

Christmas for me had nothing to do with Religion (neither did Diwali or Holi). Yes, of course we had nativity scenes and we knew we were celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ. Christmas for us was that wonderful time of winter holidays, presents, songs, joy and happiness all around. Christmas for me still is that wonderful thing that gives me a glow inside. You want to give, give, give. You want to hug the whole world. Christmas is simply a feeling that's warm, happy, comforting and fuzzy. Something like a mug of hot chocolate.

A Merry Christmas to each and everyone of you. May joy, happiness, peace and hope always be with you!

Net Neutrality versus Digital 'Equality'

Okay, now I tell you  that because the poor does not get food, I will from now on give food to them.

Please click on the button to allow me to give food to the poor. You will of course feel it's a good thing and click on the button. Someone is doing something good and you are doing good by supporting it! Digital Equality! However, the food I am giving comprises only coffee (I have a deal with Nescafe), tomatoes (I have a deal with a tomato farmer), KRT rice (I have a deal), no dal (no deals were made), amul milk (again, deals). so, what's wrong? Nothing except the fact that you will be able to have just these foods, and nothing else. These you can have as much as you want. Will you get proper nutrition..no. But at least you get to eat, no?


Now take this in the case of the Internet... it becomes more sinister. I will give you free Internet (you will of course need a device) but there are only certain sites that you will be allowed to access. So, how does this become wrong? At least you are getting the Internet, right? I will be allowing you access to Times of India for news (because I have a deal with them. Not Hindustan Times, Not Indian Express... because their views might be different from mine). For shopping you may go to flipkart and not to any other because again I have a deal with them. Facebook of course is something you may be on the whole day and I will make it full of attractive ads from my partners so that you get motivated and encouraged to be our customers. There will be attractive discounts of course. There won't be any blogs, articles etc that tell you a different picture of the government. If an article has been written by someone or a picture has been taken that shows the government in a wrong way..the whole world will see it but  you poor thing will have to make do without it because it wont be on the sites you are 'allowed' to see.


So, not only will be you reading what I want you to read, you will be buying what I want you to buy, discussing what I want you to discuss. The Ambanis and Zuckerbergs will sit pretty because, my dear, we are meant to sit pretty and you are just a poor thing... you must be so thankful to us for the freedom we are giving you. I like the word Freedom so much that I have renamed my Internet.org as 'Free Basics'..the Basics, of course, are the ones I want for you. I know what's best. And as for digital Equality, I will not mention it but there are alternatives like Mozilla's Grameen Phone in Bangladesh that actually allows you to surf the entire Internet on 20 MB free data per day.

And, of course, I will be donating 90% of my stock as charity for my daughter.

saare jaahan se accha hindustan hamara

If a cow is killed, we can kill a man
but if a man is run over, we can overlook the fact
(who asked him to sleep on the pavement?!)
yesterday I read about a filmstar who pulled a foetus out of his girlfriend in their bathroom...
Can anything shock us?

chetan bhagat's a bestseller
while salman rusdie had been banned
we give asylum to taslima nasreen
while we demolish babri masjid
we worship devi
we kill the girl child
we expect to be paid for marrying a girl
we can't kiss in public
we can rape in public
awards were returned due to a conspiracy
are farmer suicides are also a conspiracy?
for marriage we look at complexion, education etc but for rape, anything goes...even a toddler
we hate pakistan for terrorism
we garland bal thakeray
the victims of the world's worst industrial disaster still await compensation 30 years later
while more than US$16.4 trillion are stashed in Switzerland banks as black money
saare jaahan se accha hindustan hamara

Fighting pollution in our little ways

Forget cigarettes, just breathing your air will now kill you. So much so that we now have diseases named after air pollution such as the Beijing cough. Asian countries are under the greatest threat. Air pollution in India is estimated to cause 527, 700 deaths every year. Not just health, it's economics too. Deaths caused by air pollution cost the European Union €161 billion. Air pollution travels much wider than water or land pollution, for example air pollution in China can travel up to California.With increasing levels of air pollution that actually makes us inhabitants of gas chambers, I thought let me become a school child once more and just write down five ways in which we can help reduce or at least stop adding more pollutants. More like a note to myself as to what I can do and what I am doing or not doing.

1. Use public transport as far as possible (yes, that includes the metro and city buses. and no, it does not include taxis and autorickshaws). 80% of lung diseases are caused due to pollution from cars, buses, trucks and other vehicles. I stay in the back of the beyond and can hardly use carpools but I make up for that by not using the car everyday. Assam could also do with better public transport in cities. The overcrowded and polluting mini city buses have really passed their expired by dates. Local trains too can be greatly improved. A good shatabdi like the one plying between Ghy-Jorhat takes a lot of load off the roads. Think about this: A single bus carries passengers that are likely to drive 40 cars.

2. Encourage cycling. Yes, cycles can get us from one place to the other. Consider the dimensions of small towns and the distances from home to office. Not really big distances. We don't have cycle paths in Assam but lanes and bye-lanes are relatively safe. As for where I stay, I can cycle without a care in the world but do I? I will, I will! There are lessons we can learn from the bike friendly cities of the world.

3. What about walking? Not morning walks and evening walks but walking for work, walking to the market, walking to a friend's house. Let's start walking. Initially, I read somewhere, walking in the morning will be easier and then as we get used to it, we can walk anytime, anywhere, etc etc.

4.Have you planted a tree this week? or a plant?
Let's seriously get planting..at home, in school, in office, on roads. And while we are planting, let's not cut down or let others cut down old trees which are gems in fighting air pollution. I am getting interested in a whole lot of plants... huge trees, flowering shrubs, vegetable gardening, potted plants. Trees obviously are the best. The seven best plants for purifying indoor air are  Boston Fern, Palm Trees, Rubber Plants, English Ivy, Peace Lily, Golden Pothos (money plant), and flowers like Gerberas (Tulips too).

5. Alternative fuels should not be alternative any longer. Let's read more, experiment more, discover more about green and alternative fuels. Let us make our kids aware of energy, alternative energy sources and biofuels. Let's talk solar power.

Your floods, My floods

My two bits on the Chennai (TN) floods vis-a-vis Assam floods, media coverage etc and what we can learn.
Did Chennai really get national media coverage? No, it didn't initially but citizens did not give a damn and didn't stop allow that to stop them from actually helping and acting on their own... they did not complain, did not whine but set about making news their own way. Media followed the Chennaites..it had to if it didn't want to lose face..so did the politicians. where there's honey, there will be bees.

Chennai floods

Each one is helping the other... Twitter is abuzz each sec with tweets asking for and offering help, normal citizens like you and me are out in the streets bringing people to shelters, distributing food, doctors are moving on their own to people needing help, people are throwing open their homes to total strangers.

Chennai, whether we want to admit it or not, is a much bigger metro than Dibrugarh or Guwahati or any other city in Assam. It is the fifth-largest city and fourth-most populous metropolitan area in the country and 36th-largest urban area in the world. Chennai's economy of US$58.6 billion PPP(US$17 billion nominal GDP, 2010) is currently rated the fourth-largest economy in India. Disruption of corporate communications and industrial houses here obviously means more attention. Water levels were also extremely high, reaching up to first floors. Being the HQ of The Hindu, it obviously, as it should, got local 'national' news. 
Instead of comparing and cribbing about govt and media attention being partial and Assam being treated poorly, let us try and learn how ordinary citizens can make a big difference without depending

Dibrugarh floods

on the govt. (central/state both) Let's really stop blaming and whining and actually start acting on our own. Each one doing whatever we can when there is such a natural calamity or disaster. Media is not covering, what's the big deal? You become the media. Who's stopping you from flooding social media with reports of your areas, putting up pics, everyone pitching in to help people. And why do we have to wait for floods in Assam next year? Instead of comparing media coverage, etc. right now, let us discuss why floods come, steps that can be taken from now on to minimize damage/casualties, form groups for this, motivate others. If there is a major drain blockage near your house, why don't you let all of us know about it? If there is water stagnation, why don't you take pics and share? Let's make a difference ourselves. Aren't we tired of cribbing?

One Very Important Reason to get a Mammography Done

A lump in the breast is what most women dread. What dreaded me most was a mammography. 

I have lived with a lump in my left breast for a long long time, since school... Had a similar one in my right breast, was operated and the biospy showed it was a fibroadenoma, and when I discovered another one, I took it cool. Since it never bothered me, I never bothered with it. Years went by and I forgot about it.

(What is a fibroadenoma? According to the Mayo Clinic, these are 'solid, noncancerous breast tumors that occur most often in adolescent girls and women under the age of 30.' These are usually painless and move under your touch. Treatment includes monitoring, fine needle biopsy and removal by surgery.)

After the birth of my second son, I gained quite a bit of weight, and at the same time, I also started feeling a bit of discomfort around the lump and armpits. This discomfort had lately increased. At around the same time, we had our biannual medical examination and for the first time, ladies had a physical examination, and the doctor was shocked to find the lump. I was asked to go in for a mammography immediately. I told her the history but she said better be sure, 'My mom had a lump for a long time', said doc, 'since I was in class 4. She passed away recently because of cancer, which was discovered too late.' I understood, nodded my head, and then forgot about it.

It was time for my next biannual exam, and I still hadn't gotten my mammography done. You have to do it immediately, I was again told. I nodded and came back home. Between work, kids and home, it gain got postponed. A few days ago, while chatting on Whatsapp with my kid's school's moms group, a mom spoke of getting her mammography done and going in for a surgery, then another shared her experience of how she had fought cancer and survived. We all spoke of immediately getting check-ups done. I shared my experience and was pushed by all the 49 moms into immediately getting it done. In the meantime, our garden doctor's wife, a happy and very positive person, too had been diagnosed with breast cancer but luckily in the first stage and was undergoing chemotherapy, and had very good results.

Maybe it was because of them, maybe I was also getting anxious, and I finally stood and said I must get this done. Sent a message to my cousin who was a doctor, and Sanjib called her and she immediately fixed an appointment. I was terrified the night before. I really did not know what a mammography was. Too scared even to google, I decided to just go with the flow. 

What exactly is a mammography? Now that I have been through it, I can tell you. It is nothing invasive..that is, no needle is inserted, no cuts are made. It is basically an x-ray of your breast tissue. But with regard to privacy, if you think you could go into this fully clothed and remain fully clothed throughout, then no, you cannot. Your breasts, one after the other, are put between two plates and then squeezed by the upper plate. There will be discomfort (and this is putting it mildly). And I was terrified when I saw what was about to happen the first time! They will probably do each breast twice from two angles and with the armpits also coming in view. This will probably be done by female nurses who are professionals and after the first few seconds, you will cease to be embarrassed by the experience.

Once my mammography was done, the doctor wanted to do an ultrasound examination.  What was discovered was a calcified fibroadenoma in my left breast, 3.5 x 1.9 cm and another in my right breast which was considerably smaller. The armpit area had breast tissues, which the doctor said was there in quite a few women... and the final diagnosis was not to worry. Benign.

Never felt so relieved before. But, if this was the real deal, then my delay could have really really caused problems. Sent a prayer of gratitude!

On a serious note, here are some facts: It is always better to get your mammography done immediately if you feel a lump, and if you are above 40, it is recommended that you get one done every year. Husbands should also be taking their wives for an annual check-up even if there are no lumps. It really, really does not cost anything to be a bit more cautious as Breast Cancer is the commonest cancer in women worldwide. According to WHO, over 508 000 women died in 2011 due to breast cancer. Almost 50% of breast cancer cases and 58% of deaths occur in less developed countries (GLOBOCAN 2008). survival rates vary from higher than 80% in developed nations like USA and Japan to less than 40% in low-income nations. This is because of late detection in the latter. The lowest incidence rates are found in most African countries.

Women who are more at risk of breast cancer: 

1. Women who smoke, take alcohol or junk food are in the risk group. 

2. Women who have had their first child after 30 years.

3. Childless women or women who have breastfed for a very short interval.

4. Women with mother or siblings who have had breast cancer have a 50% greater risk factor.

Charts courtesy: http://www.breastcancerindia.net/bc/statistics/stati.htm

What is it about the Northeast that irritates people?

What is Northeast India? When I was growing up in Guwahati, going to school, I did not know of any such word. I knew of something known as 'seven sisters' which again comprised the same seven states that we know today as Northeast (I am not considering Sikkim here). The 'Northeast' is a word that has in its fold seven beautiful states that are each different and unique. Assam as I knew and know it is a very different state from Nagaland, just as Meghalaya is different from Arunachal Pradesh. Yes, just as different as Maharastra is from Uttar Pradesh. Let us not forget the trees by looking at the woods. Let us not club them all together under one umbrella  as 'that place in the hills'.

Why is there so much racism against Northeastern people in particular? Is there something weird with these people? No, there is not just racism against northeast people in particular. There is also bigotry and racism against many other communities. In fact, India despite its outward 'unity in diversity' is full of bigotry. 'Bihari' is the mother of all insults, 'Sardars' are Santa and Banta, people from Rajasthan till recently were known to the common man as 'marwaris' because this was the community they most interacted with, 'Oriyas'...hmm what's that??, 'Chinki' is anyone beyond the chicken neck separating the northeast region from 'Rest of India', 'Musaalmans' are still a no-no in many places, anyone from south of Madhya Pradesh was known as 'Madrassi' till Bangalore became a place where you had to go and work, and Nepalis of course are the 'shalaam shaahabs' of the nation.

So why is this racism against Northeast people becoming so prominent? People from the northeast are suddenly coming out from this part of the world and the rest of India is suddenly seeing so many people, who perhaps look different, speak different and dress different. It is not that people from here hadn't been outside the region, they have. People from my family and many others from three-four generations ago have travelled, been studying abroad, have been or are friends with 'prominent' people from not India but all over the world. But, and this is a big But, the region has been tremendously poor in communication and transport. The bridges that were built by the British are still standing tall and helping people cross the rivers. Areas that did not have bridges then still lack bridges. Airport/air travel facility is poor and expensive and railways need a heavy boost. So, what about the people who were not so well off in terms of economy or education till one generation ago or this generation? Just as in any other part of the world, they too hadn't the thought or money to travel much beyond their lands, and more so because they needed much more money and enterprise to go out and they had plenty in their own land, which is and was rich and fertile.

Slowly, over the past few years, there were roads built that makes communication a bit better, yes, just a bit better. (and this i will write about later). Television came in, internet came in and people now know of the world outside and are slowly going out to study in universities and colleges that have better teachers outside the region. Parents are sending children in the hope that they will learn more than they have and do better than they have. to see more of the world. Suddenly these kids come out into a world that knows nothing about them. Is this our country? they wonder. Are they from our country? the others wonder. Some get talking, make friends and discover, 'Hey, she's just like me. Just looks a bit different'. Others make no attempt to talk but start bullying. Go away to where you have come from. And where do you come from? China.

Which brings me back to my question. This racism against northeast people is suddenly becoming more prominent because with more trains going out of the region, and roads becoming a bit better, more people are entering the mainstream. Maybe certain people feel threatened when they see new faces coming in, maybe certain people cannot think of a world beyond their own, maybe certain people think this is just a country that belongs to me. 

What exactly is racism? A 'racist' is anyone that discriminates and bullies someone because s/he looks different, has a different accent or color, or from another place. The discrimination may be physical violence or threats via email or phone, etc. A racist will feel antagonistic towards most people who do not 'belong'. If you hate someone for no other reason except that s/he is a Muslim, or from Pakistan, or from the northeast, you too are having thoughts of racism.

Why do people from the northeast feel alienated? When a very well-educated friend asked me some years back, does your house have stilts, I answered no but I was bewildered. What do some people really think about our region? How come they have no idea at all? When I say I am a vegetarian, some people looked at me amazed. When young kids who move out of the region for the first time, they are visiting a new place for the first time. They tend to stick together because they are familiar with each other and get support. Same with any young person going to a new place. Why do they get the feeling of alienation? Because when they go to buy tickets at a museum, they are shown the 'foreigners' counter, when they go looking for a house to rent, they are looked upon as promiscuous and denied. We have to understand here, this is one country we are talking of. People from one state visiting another or studying and working in another. Not an Indian going to America.

Is it the fault of the victim when he is attacked? No. The victim of a hate crime or a racist act is not to blame. It is the racist or the bully who is wrong to have inflicted violence towards someone because he is not the same. It is the racist or bully how has to read more, learn more and develop more. Let us all be very very clear on this. Someone might be very different, talk very differently but as long as the person is living his own life and has not hurt you, you do not have the right to beat or be violent towards him just because of his difference.

Things that we all can do.

However. There are some things that people from the northeast can start practicing.

1. Write more. Write about yourself, your land, your people.

2. Learn new languages. If India is truly your country, you can start learning Hindi too. 

3. Be understanding if someone does not know about your state. there are many things you too do not know about other states.

4. Do not be ashamed of where you have come from. If you are from Manipur, talk to people from your university or office about the beautiful state. Help them learn. Cook for them.

And. Here are things people who do not know about the northeast can do.

1. Read more. Learn the names of the states, the people that stay there. Take out a map.

2. Travel. Don't get scared. Visit the northeast.

3. Make new friends. They are new, they are scared. Why not give a helping hand?
4. Love more.

Here are some sites that you can visit.
http://itstopswithme.humanrights.gov.au/it-stops-with-me/what-you-say-matters/why-racism 

http://www.wikihow.com/Become-Proactive-Against-Racists-and-Racism

http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio1/advice/factfile_az/racism

http://www.care2.com/causes/confronting-racism.html

Memoirs of a Lucknow Boy

When a person you have always liked and idolized writes a book, and not just any book but an autobiography, you are perhaps not the best critic. Having said that, I admit I picked up Vinod Mehta’s  memoirs, Lucknow Boy, with a bounce in my step and with a special beat in my heart. As I opened the book and read through the first paragraph, Mehtaji from Lucknow did it again. I was hooked as I am with every bit of text he writes.

Lucknow Boy is a book that will touch a chord in many of us who started their journalistic or publishing careers in the Delhi of the 1990s, when email had just come in. It will also give us a glimpse of Vinod Mehta, the boy who had come to India from Pakistan, who grew up in Lucknow, became an adult in London and the man who was the charismatic editor of Debonair. He gives us stories and reasons behind why and how he set up and then left (or had to leave) the various other publications like the Sunday Observer, Indian Post, The Independent and The Pioneer. A large section is obviously on Outlook. This book is not just a tale about a person, it is a story of the times, the changing political scenarios of the world and the various events that shaped him into who he is.

Lucknow Boy is nothing if not honest. It is, as Pankaj mishra says, “a book that ought to be savoured rather than quickly swallowed”.